Sloppy Rovers Give It Away. Twice.

Rovers line up in front of an expectant crowd

(L-R Nordheim, Kimbrell, SmithM, Gio, Mestanek)

Way back at the start of the season, when Melchester were still little Roverinky, their first competitive opponents were KMK Dynamo Brno in a game the reds lost 1-0.  So it was only natural that the rematch could be seen as a chance to gauge just how far, if at all, Racey's men had progressed.

A bright opening from Melchester bode well, yet with so many chances having gone begging in the previous game, no-one was relaxing on the pitch or indeed the touchline.  It wasn't until set-piece specialist Matt Smith "won" (cue rueful grin) and converted a free kick on the edge of Dynamo's box that anyone even dared to believe it might be Rovers' day.  A quick follow-up from Nordheim doubled the lead, and with debutant target-man Gio running rings around the opposition defence, all seemed well in Racey's Wonderland.

How quickly things change.  Gio came off with the ankle bothers, then a rare defensive howler let Dynamo pull one back.  With the balance of play shifting, the reds were increasingly forced onto the back foot, and it wasn't long before the equaliser came. 

Kimbrell & Mestanek enraged Roy Race after paparazzi shots revealed them tucking into a mountain of ribs and glugging pivo just moments before the match

After a minimal halftime talk, a determined Melchester began the 2nd half as they had begun the first, and soon enough Robin Smith was gifted a chance silly mid-on, which he took beautifully to nudge Rovers back into the lead.  The lead was once more doubled when Matt Smith blasted a shot through the defence and past a hapless keeper, and once more things seemed rosy.

In a shocking piece of refereeing, a 5th goal was disallowed after the ball was deemed to have gone out of play in the build-up.  How that decision would come back to haunt Melchester.

The remainder of the game was a real blood-and-guts affair, with Dynamo's whiney little falling-over specialists doing their utmost to unsettle the brave and true heroes of Melchester.  Again, however, Melchester were pushed deeper and deeper, and yet again were pegged back after enjoying a two goal lead.

Professional Norwegian and forward Vegard Nordheim would later accuse the Rovers of stopping playing once they were ahead, others pointed to a lack of match fitness, while some saw fit to blame the referee for disallowing what would have been a winning goal, but the fact remains that Melchester left the field with just a point to show for some sumptuous football.  All is not lost however, as the reds retain 6th place, still in sight of those play-off positions.

KMK Dynamo Brno 4 - 4 Melchester Rovers (2-2 HT)

CosteaJ, MestanekM, SmithM(2), Gio, KimbrellC, NordheimV(1), SmithR(1), PagliaroJ, GolbanielN, HollandP

Rusty Rovers Lack Cutting Edge

He's got legs - he knows how to use them

With their new winter signings unavailable - Keeperman Dave falling prey to a mystery illness and new midfield muscler Dan M.I.A., it was an instantly recognisable line-up that took to the field on Tuesday evening against Kašpaři VM. Having lost the first tie 7 - 0, a slightly apprehensive Melchester certainly had much to prove.

Despite soaking up much of the early pressure, midway through the first period Rovers were caught on the break and Kašpaři VM were ahead. However, Rovers' response was positive and immediate - Nordheim was denied by the post, then moments later an indirect free-kick (backpass) allowed the professional Norwegian to snatch the equaliser.

Spot the ball?

Considering the previous result, at half time 1-1 was a decent score, and Rovers looked good for at least one point. However, despite again hitting the post and having the lion's share of chances in the second half - 14 shots to their 7* - sloppy Melchester defending allowed Kašpaři to score twice more to hand the reds defeat in their first competitive fixture of 2010.

A philosophical Roy Race told reporters: "We've maybe dropped points tonight, and we've definitely dropped a place in the table to 6th, but with our new secret weapon due to make his debut for Sunday's tie (taps nose enigmatically), we're optimistic about our chances of making the playoff positions."

Watch this space, vole.

*Statistics courtesy of "Rainman" Roman

Kašpaři VM 3 - 1 Melchester Rovers (1-1 HT)

CosteaJ, MestanekM, SmithM, SmithR, HollandP, DaviesR, NordheimV (1 goal), KimbrellC, GobanielN

THE ROVERS RETURN

Parallel universes.  The stuff of science fiction.  And also, of the BSMK League.  Thanks to the unique way the league is organised, there are actually TWO Second Divisions, from which the top teams are pitched into a play-off to decide who is promoted to the ONE AND ONLY First Division.  And so tonight, after an intensive winter training schedule resembling a cheesy 80's montage, Melchester once again pull on the famous Gola shirts for a pre-2nd-half-of-season friendly against one of the other teams from the other Division 2.   Organised last week when the good folks of Brno were enjoying a searing 9degrees C, now that the forecast tonight is for MINUS 8, there may be some who wonder if it's such a good idea.

Indeed, it will be a depleted line-up tonight as the cold weather continues to cause all sorts of chaos in the form of viruses, presentations, general other important things to do, but it is at least a chance to showcase new winter signing 'Keeperman Dave, who promises to add a new edge of competition for the coveted Rovers' "1" shirt.

Also new for 2010, on the left of this very writty there will magically appear some new links as the season progresses.  Already, thousands of man-hours have been spent bringing you A New Button marked "Fixtures".  Pressing this New Button will inevitably take you to the red's fixture list for the rest of the season.  More to follow.

First game proper, next Tuesday 16th at Srbska versus Kašpaři VM - trucks on pitch, terrorist attacks, alien invasions notwithstanding.

Some Rovers may take longer than others to get back to full fitness

Mid Season Review - ROVERS: HIGH FIVE!

Rovers' winter training regime has already started in earnest

Despite goals from Nathaniel Golbaniel and professional Norwegian Vegard Nordheim, Melchester were unable to take any points from their final tie before the winter break against free-scoring Galaxy Brno (Conceded 37, scored 915). However, despite finishing the year on a 7-2 defeat, as the Rovers jump into their thermal undies and fluffy slippers before settling down in front of a roaring fire with a hot mug of cocoa and a labrador, they can be pleased with their progress so far in this, the Brnensky Svaz Malá Kopaná Division 2(b) of Death. Indeed, before disappearing off to hibernate with a bucket of fried chicken, 2 litres of Fernet and some specially imported Russian "Adult Interest" magazines, The Rt. Hon. Roy Race was moved to release a statement:

"Let's face it, to reach the midway point in our very first season and find ourselves in the top five, well we've done marvelous. To be fair, its took us probably this first half to get our game together, playing together and adjusting to the pace of the league, and all credit to the lads, they done wonderfully well.

"Its also worth pointing out that so far no team has really dominated yet, up to this point, at this time - the top spot has kept changing hands, which means it anybody's guess who'll finish there, so why not us? I'm not saying it'll happen, but then again its not impossible, nothing's impossible in football - well, some things are impossible of course, you cannot change the laws of physics, but if we could, that would certainly stand us in good stead, but even if we don't, we have to feel we can, and I believe that that kind of belief is what is crucial if we are to believe in our belief that we can do it."

With almost all the '09 fixtures played, Melchester can look forward to beginning the 2nd half of the season from a position of strength

The story of the stats so far:

Goals:

Nordheim Vegard 11

Kimbrell Colin 10

Smith Matt 7

Pagliaro James 4*

Davies Ralph 3

Golban Nathan 2

Smith Robin Melchester Rovers 1

Zschach Christian Melchester Rovers 1

*Controversially, Kimbrell claims two of Pagliaro's goals are actually his, and are therefore under investigation - although many suspect this is just another case of the Americans popping up at the last minute and trying to steal all the glory from the Brits.

Goals from The Corner Spot:

Smith, Matt 1

Yellow Cards:

Costea Iulian 1 (General Dirtiness)

Smith Matt 1 (Over-exuberance)

Zschach Christian 1 (Being a touch too Teutonic)

Měšťánek Martin 1 (Saying pico just a little bit too loudly, a little bit too often)

Holland Paul 1 (Kicking a fat man rather than wasting energy trying to go round him)

Finally, the joy of having reached midpoint without having embarrassed themselves is tinged with sadness for Melchester Rovers with the news that Herr Golden Ball himself, Christian Zschach, has played his last game in the iconic red and gold hoops, just as I've learnt to spell his name. With a shot so hard he could make balls travel through time and score in previous games, a long throw that struck fear into opponent's hearts, and the ability to dance like a chicken, Chris will be genuinely missed by the rest of the team, and we all wish him well.

Once A Rover - Always A Rover

MATCH REPORT - Melchester VS Fischer Cafe

!!CLICK IMAGES TO ENLARGE!!

(Thanks to Galia and Yuliya for providing the photos!)

MATCH REPORT - WE ARE TOP OF THE LEAGUE, SAY WE ARE TOP OF THE LEAGUE!

Toppermost of the poppermost (albeit with an extra game played, but let's ignore that for now, eh?)

In spectacular scenes at Chalabalabova this weekend, Melchester Rovers finally put their nightmare run of home defeats behind them when it mattered to climb to the top of Division 2.

Rovers started brightly, creating plenty of chances to take the lead, notably from professional Norwegian Veggard Nordheim, who rattled both crossbar and post, and James Pagliaro, who didn't. In the end it was down to Matt Smith to shoot hard and low from outside the box and make it 1-0.

Just moments later, Smith sealed his reputation as set-piece specialist when, having seen the opposition keeper way off his line, he slotted home number two - from the corner spot, if you please.

At that point in the game, Rovers were comfortably the superior side, and a drubbing appeared to be on the cards for Beers United. However, once United managed to claw a goal back just before half time, Melchester never fully regained their rhythm.

A tense second half followed, with the reds desperate not to lose after their early supremacy, yearning to end their appalling home run, and aching to earn the three points that would take them top. The sieges of Troy, Mafeking and Leningrad, combined, were nothing compared to the waves upon waves of attacking play United launched, yet staunch defending, sterling goalkeeping (including a run from Petr The Cat that saw him end up in midfield and potentially through on goal) and a dash of good fortune saw to it that the second half, seemingly the longest in the history of Association Football, remained goalless.

A dramatic match saw shots ricocheting off the woodwork, The Cat running the ball to the halfway line, yellow cards and goal-line clearances. So here's a picture of a throw in. From a different match.

And there it was. The final whistle finally came, and in scenes reminiscent of the Rumble in the Jungle, the reds had hung in and soaked up the pressure for long enough to claim an epic victory. And el vino did flow, with a delighted Roy Race declaring "Kebabs all round!"

The ladies of Moravistan model Melchester's new burka design

Next up, on Saturday morning, Melchester take on 2nd from bottom team Fischer Cafe, who have already conceded 80 (eighty) goals. Form an orderly queue, lads.

MATCH REPORT - Rovers Outplay Fair Play

"Wee" Colin Kimbrell takes on a giant

A midweek victory for Rovers has put them within grasp, albeit temporarily, of top spot. The reds lined up against FairPlay FC knowing a win was essential in order to avoid losing touch with the top half of the table, and a depleted line-up obliged.

Rovers started brightly, and despite conceding an early goal, never looked to be under too much pressure. With free-scoring Norwegian Veggard Nordheim equalising, then putting Melchester ahead with his trademark clinical finishing, and Nathan Golban setting up top scorer Colin Kimbrell when Fair Play's 'keeper went walkabout, at half time there was already a feeling of "job done".

Early in the 2nd half Kimbrell made it 4-1, the perfect debut for his specially imported blue-suede boots, turning on a sixpence to volley home from the edge of the box - a move that even had the opposition forward showing his admiration.

From then on the hoops played a holding game, stand-in keeper Martin Mestanek producing some fine saves, even using his nose to keep FairPlay at bay, whilst defender Paul Holland also made full use of his body, using foot then belly to clear successive shots off the line.

Honest, it was a big bruise, its just the camera couldn't quite pick it up

For their part, Fair Play demonstrated a fine grasp of irony, refusing to return Melchester's loose balls during warm-up, and forgoing the customary (if slightly crap) pre-match handshakes. With needle before the game even started, this was a real blood-and-guts affair; Rovers' kind of game.

Roy Race revealed mixed emotions ahead of the next game, against Beers Utd. "Unfortunately, despite our excellent away record, our next game takes place at home, where we are yet to pick up a point. However, after a storming start to their campaign, Beers Utd have faded in recent games, so this is the best chance we'll get to break the jinx."

With only one other game taking place on Saturday, Melchester could actually go top (with one more game played) with a win over Beers Utd. Ha'way the lads!!!