Roight then moy loovlies...

Having drawn their last game against top-placed Fair Play,

The Rovers were rightly excited

As they took to the field, they were playing away

‘Gainst 7^th placed team, Beers United.

United were young and were quick and were skilled

Melchester had many hangovers

And after 10 minutes red’s fears were fulfilled

As the blues put their first past the Rovers.

The rest of the half was real end to end stuff

Both teams cancelled each other out

And although there were chances, and though they were fluffed,

At the break, reds were in with a shout.

But after the restart - tragedy struck!

As the Rovers conceded a second.

With no-one to cheer them and fresh out of luck

It looked as if disaster beckoned.

Yet Kimbrell’s response was to go forth and score,

And Rovers were back in the game

With their first shot on target, but still needed more,

More, more more more, more of the same.

They huffed and they puffed, but the goal would not come

Despite overhead shots from young Ali

And as the clocked ticked, the belief among some

Was the reds would not add to their tally.

Step forward the warrior, Vegard Nordheim,

Someone lobbed it toward him for no reason.

But with back to goal, just one touch, so sublime,

The asskoek scored goal of the season.

With a point in the bag if they held for the draw,

Incredibly Rovers just folded

And as they pushed forward conceded three more

And by manager Race they were scolded.

Another bad game sees the reds drop to eighth

And now is the moment to fight,

Yet all is not lost as on Sunday they face

Tripoli “B”, who are shite.

Beers United 5 -2 Melchester Rovers

Golban Nathan, Holland Paul, Kimbrell Colin(1), Měšťánek Martin, Vegard Nordheim(1), Pagliaro James, Smith Matt, Costea, Iulian, Kourkzi Ali

Rovers Stop The Rot

Who loves ya, baby?

Melchester Rovers vs Fair Play.
Tuesday at Srbska - Kick Off 7pm

1830 - Injury ravaged Rovers arrive to take on 2nd placed Fair Play with just six players available - and to add to their woes, no keeper. Just one day before, keeperman Dave had decided to ignore the fact that he'd just been sacked by the team, deciding instead to announce his retirement from the team, thereby foregoing any compensation payments and demonstrating just the kind of timing and decision-making that had got him sacked in the first place.

Things were not looking promising for the Rovers - especially when erstwhile defender Paul Holland pulled on the Number 1 shirt and volunteered himself between the sticks. Could Melchester keep it down to single figures....?


1900 - Kick off time, yet both teams still wait on the sidelines, watching this:

This is what they call the Muppet Show

Following frantic calls to the league's bigwigs to find out where was a) the pitch b) our referee, kick off time was delayed by one hour.

This, however, created yet more problems for Rovers, as newly endaughtered Robin Smith was only on a one hour pass. It was a heart-wrenching decision, Rovers or baby, but in the end Smith made the right choice, packed his togs, and went back to baby.

Rovers down to 5 men.

The opposition "warming up"

19.15: Ralph Davies: "Iulen? Hi. When do you finish work? 8 o'clock? OK, can you get down here straight away? Nice one!"


Back up to 6.


19.30: Ralph: "Martin. Its Ralph. I want you to tell your class there's an emergency and you need to leave RIGHT NOW. We'll give them free lessons another time. We'll refund their money. We'll do anything they want...just GET HERE NOW!"

Rovers - full team, keeper and sub.

2000: Kick Off. By the time Rovers took to the field, any worries about the game had long been overtaken by relief that it was happening at all. And with the pressure off their shoulders, the reds enjoyed a lively start, culminating in Mestanek's long throw penetrating the Fair Play defence for Ali to head home his second goal in as many games in the hoops. For their part, Fair Play gave Rovers a fair amount of problems, soon equalising, but in the first half neither team managed to assert themselves.

The ref's a secret Rover

2nd Half: With Melchester playing their dream back four of Costea, Mestanek, Holland and Pagliaro, the team was able to push forward with confidence on the hunt for goals. And sure enough, midway through the half Rovers' 2nd came from an unlikely source, Colin Kimbrell. Having endured a barren spell in 2010, there was not a dry seat in the house as CK9 deftly rounded the keeper to stroke home into an empty net.

Kimbrell can't contain his excitement at returning to the scoresheet

Drama then followed as Fair Play's Stanislav Chytil was red-carded, and Rovers really took control of the game. However, what none of the reds realised was that the red was only temporary, and therefore failed to capitalise on their advantage before Fair Play were restored to 6 players.

Holland displays his usual grace and agility in defence

With everything to play for, the whites piled forward and in the 53rd minute were awarded a free kick on the edge of the Melchester box, which blasted through the wall and into Rovers' net. But where once they might have folded, tonight that equaliser galvanised Roy Race's men, ensuring that the final 15 minutes kept the crowd on the edge of their seats as both teams gave their all. But with neither defence giving anything away, there was to be no victory - on paper at least.

"We've only won a single point tonight," gushed Roy Race after the game, "but we're delighted nevertheless, as against top opposition we've re-found our Mojo. Morale is back, and we've a nice break now for our injuries to heal, so we can really look forward to the last few games and try to regain those positions."

Ralph Davies in post-match discussion with the ref and his assistant

Melchester Rovers 2-2 Fair Play (1-1 HT)

Holland Paul, Kimbrell Colin(1), Měšťánek Martin, Pagliaro James, Smith Matt, Costea Iulian, Kourkzi Ali(1)(YellowCard)

Where Have All The Good Times Gone?

Despite having thrice come back from being a goal down, then finally taking a 4-3 lead with 4 minutes left on the clock, somehow Rovers allowed all the points to slip from their fingers by conceding two goals to gift Rom Star an easy win. But what will concern Roy Race more than the defeat is the way it was greeted at the final whistle, with several players going walkabout, others unable to pull themselves away from the touchline, and nary a word uttered between teammates until long after it was all over.

Rovers prepare to defend a corner that most probably led to a RomStar goal

"We've lost before, but usually by the time the head has settled on the post-match fizzy pop, it's forgotten," confided a worried Racey. "This time it hurts. We've scored 7 goals in our last two games, and got nothing."

A Rovers attack that (probably) came to nothing

On the positive side, French debutant Ali scored a welcome goal, along with another first goal for defender Costea. A well-taken brace from Nathaniel Golbaniel made up the four, which really should have been enough to win it.

As is so often the way, there's no respite for the Reds as tomorrow night they face 2nd place Fair Play Team. A win would certainly provide the morale-boost Melchester need, and possibly return some of the heady excitement and good vibes that helped the team enjoy the first half of the season. In short, we need to re-find the fun.

RomStar 5-4 Melchester Rovers (3-2HT)

Golban Nathan(2), Holland Paul, Kimbrel Colin, Pagliaro James, Smith Matt, Costea Iulian(1), Cleary David, Kourkzi Ali(1)

That sinking feeling...

It's a goal...er...a girl! Robin Smith (left) rushed from the maternity ward to do his duty for the Rovers

Having ordered many of his key players to attend President Mestanek's fitness cottage in The Nature(TM), Roy Race was less than impressed to find his squad even blearier-eyed than usual as they trundled up for last weekend's fixture against Relax CF. And Relax seemed to sense their opportunity, as from the kick off they flew at the still-waking Rovers, sending a warning shot crashing onto the crossbar. The reds simply couldn't take control of the game in the opening overs, and sure enough, it wasn't long before they found themselves two goals down.

Roy Race had even arranged for Bono Out Of 80s Boyband U2 to provide a pre-match peptalk

One man who was having none of that sort of thing was James Pagliaro, who found himself on the end of a beautiful passing move and slotted home with lashings of aplomb. And moments later "The Pagster" was on hand to slot home an equaliser at the near post from CK9's low corner.

Spirits had been raised, and with Relax only having one substitute, Rovers naively convinced themselves that their opposition would tire. No chance. Relax found another gear, and ensured that before half-time they had restored their two goal advantage.

In victory or defeat, Midfield General Matt Smith is a terrifying presence, both on and off the pitch

The second half was a bit meh, nothing doing really, certainly not worth writing home about. They scored another, Pagliaro was cruelly denied a hat-trick when he was pulled down on the edge of the box whilst through on goal, and Matt Smith went on one of his trademark mazy runs to make the score more respectable, but Melchester never really looked like nicking any points.

Rovers take on Rom Star tomorrow, by no means an easy tie, but a third consecutive defeat would be unthinkable. Having slipped from what seemed a secure 5th place, the reds now find 7th and 8th snapping at their heels. And with an injury list including professional haasskok Vergard Nordheim, defensive rock Martin Mestanek and talented bloke Gio, a weakened side will need to take every chance they get.

Melchester Rovers 3-5 Relax CF (2-4 HT)

Ralph Davies, Holland Paul, Kimbrell Colin, Měšťánek Martin Vole, Vegard Nordheim, Pagliaro James (2), Smith Matt(1), Costea Iulian, Smith Robin(Baby), Cleary David
Man Of The Match: James "There's only one" Pagliaro

Who Wants To Write About 3-0 Defeats?

INEX-SDA Srbská "B" 3-0 Melchester Rovers

'Nuff Said.

That defeat to Srbska, and the postponement of last weekend's game against Palermo, means Rovers slip to 6th in the table, just below this Sunday's opponents, Relax CF. After the last meeting between the two teams, which Rovers lost on a Sunday morning following a weekend of hard partying, go-karting and DJing, Roy Race is taking no chances: "I've sent the team away for the whole weekend to President Mestanek's cottage in The Nature(TM), so that they can concentrate on the game without any distractions, parties, drinks or unhealthy food.

"What can possibly go wrong?"

Melchester Narrowly Avoid Slip In Merdeux

 
  

Faced with a waterlogged artificial pitch, some of the WAGs dug out their wellies to wade through the artificial mud

Having thrashed Merdeux on a wet pitch earlier in the season, the omens were good on Wednesday as Melchester lined up at a rain-soaked Chalabalova brimming with confidence.  However, despite a rampant opening in which our heroes surged forward time and time again, it wasn't until midway through the first half that the reds made their mark on the scoresheet.

But oh, in what style.  Having run the ball to the opponent's box, Davies cut back for Pagliaro, who threaded a pass through for professional asskoek Vegard Nordheim to drill low and hard between the helpless keeper's legs.

Another first-half chance goes begging    

However, although Rovers came in at the break having dominated the first half, they only had the one goal to show from a plethora of chances.  And as everyone knows, in Brněnský Svaz Malé Kopané Group 2(b) Of Death, a single goal is not to be sat on.  And so it proved, as Merdeux applied the pressure in the second half to earn an equaliser, much to Melchester's surprise.

Unperturbed, Nordheim charged forward from the restart and, having waited a while for the rest of Rovers' fronline to catch up, played in a cross to Davies, who slotted home another beauty to regain the lead for the hoops.

 

The diminutive Welshman celebrates with a message for a fellow Taff

Yet Merdeux still refused to lie down.  After a flurry of subsitutions, Melchester lost their shape and allowed the blues to come at them, and despite some crucial stops from debutant Keeperman Dave "these tracksuit bottoms haven't got any pockets for my tissues" Cleary, it wasn't long before another equaliser arrived.

Having created little in the 2nd half, finding another goal to take the lead for the 3rd time seemed a tall order.  Cue that man again, Mr Asskoek, Nordheim.  Now by far Rovers' top goalscorer, Vegard sealed the match with a typically classy flick past the Merdeux keeper, and after a hard fought contest, 3 points were in the bag.

 

After an unexpectedly tough win, exhausted Rovers manage to summon enough energy for the post-match handshakes and urine tests

All that remained was for fellow forward Golban to provide some amber nectar, and Melchester could celebrate yet another win to stay on the coat-tails of The Big Four.

   

An excited Roy Race is looking forward to the weekend's fixtures: "With Kaspari dropping down, we're now level with them on points - which means if we can win Saturday's match against INEX-SDA Srbska"B" by, say, 16 goals or more, we can break into the playoff positions.  We have to believe."

Merdeux 2-3 Melchester Rovers (0-1HT)

ClearyD, MestanekM, SmithM, KimbrellC, PagliaroJ, HollandP, Nordheim(2), DaviesR(1), GolbanN

Man of the Match - Vegard Nordheim 

Rovers are Happy Easter Bunnies

There are so many potential captions for this photo, I'll let you make your own.

5th met 6th last weekend, as Melchester travelled back to Chalabalova to take on Last Minute. With (some of) the reds fresh from a punishing midweek training regime, confidence was high - seemingly justifiably so as Matt Smith opened the scoring early in the first half with a looping, bouncing wobbling shot that the keeper somehow contrived to miss completely. Quality immediately followed though, as Gio opened his scoring account with a drilled shot from outside the box, and it seemed Rovers were off to a dream start.

However, having already given up a 2 goal lead twice in the same game 2 weeks before, Melchester could not relax - especially when Last Minute fought back and began to pressurise the red's goal. And when Robin Smith's high boot smeared his opponent's nose across his face to give Last Minute a penalty, there were some worried faces on the Melchester bench. Step forward goalkeeping hero Julien Costea, who dived to his right to make a perfect save. But drama followed, as the referee declared (correctly) that Costea had left his line before the kick was taken.

Take two, and again no problems for the Romanian, not only saving but also clearing to safety, and Roy Race could breath easily once more.

With that drama over, Melchester pushed forward again, and after some elegant build up play Holland's crossfield pass found Pagliaro on the back post, who slotted home with aplomb.

A three goal lead would have suited Racey's men at half-time, but it was not to be as Last Minute responded with a goal before the break that kept the tie alive going into the second half.

With the referee allowing no physical challenges whatsoever, the 2nd period never really got going until late on. Last Minute were given hope when a long hopeful ball forward was met by Mestanek, whose headed clearance was somehow good enough to beat Costea for an historic first Melchester own goal. Despite the WAGs on the touchline convinced that own goals don't count, at 3-2 the last few moments looked decidedly iffy for Racey's men.

Until:

Matt Smith's late effort restored the 2 goal lead, and was again followed up with a 2nd from Gio, to put the tie beyond any doubt.

Three points keep Melchester Rovers in touch with The Big Four, whilst also ensuring 5th place is relatively safe:

A win against Merdeux on Wednesday would keep the pressure on Dynamo for that last playoff spot.

Last Minute 2 - 5 Melchester Rovers (1-3HT)

CosteaJ, MestanekM(o,g.), SmithM(2), Gio(2), KimbrellC, PagliaroJ(1), HollandP, SmithR, DaviesR

Man of the Match - Julien Costea