That sinking feeling...

It's a goal...er...a girl! Robin Smith (left) rushed from the maternity ward to do his duty for the Rovers

Having ordered many of his key players to attend President Mestanek's fitness cottage in The Nature(TM), Roy Race was less than impressed to find his squad even blearier-eyed than usual as they trundled up for last weekend's fixture against Relax CF. And Relax seemed to sense their opportunity, as from the kick off they flew at the still-waking Rovers, sending a warning shot crashing onto the crossbar. The reds simply couldn't take control of the game in the opening overs, and sure enough, it wasn't long before they found themselves two goals down.

Roy Race had even arranged for Bono Out Of 80s Boyband U2 to provide a pre-match peptalk

One man who was having none of that sort of thing was James Pagliaro, who found himself on the end of a beautiful passing move and slotted home with lashings of aplomb. And moments later "The Pagster" was on hand to slot home an equaliser at the near post from CK9's low corner.

Spirits had been raised, and with Relax only having one substitute, Rovers naively convinced themselves that their opposition would tire. No chance. Relax found another gear, and ensured that before half-time they had restored their two goal advantage.

In victory or defeat, Midfield General Matt Smith is a terrifying presence, both on and off the pitch

The second half was a bit meh, nothing doing really, certainly not worth writing home about. They scored another, Pagliaro was cruelly denied a hat-trick when he was pulled down on the edge of the box whilst through on goal, and Matt Smith went on one of his trademark mazy runs to make the score more respectable, but Melchester never really looked like nicking any points.

Rovers take on Rom Star tomorrow, by no means an easy tie, but a third consecutive defeat would be unthinkable. Having slipped from what seemed a secure 5th place, the reds now find 7th and 8th snapping at their heels. And with an injury list including professional haasskok Vergard Nordheim, defensive rock Martin Mestanek and talented bloke Gio, a weakened side will need to take every chance they get.

Melchester Rovers 3-5 Relax CF (2-4 HT)

Ralph Davies, Holland Paul, Kimbrell Colin, Měšťánek Martin Vole, Vegard Nordheim, Pagliaro James (2), Smith Matt(1), Costea Iulian, Smith Robin(Baby), Cleary David
Man Of The Match: James "There's only one" Pagliaro