Who Wants To Write About 3-0 Defeats?

INEX-SDA Srbská "B" 3-0 Melchester Rovers

'Nuff Said.

That defeat to Srbska, and the postponement of last weekend's game against Palermo, means Rovers slip to 6th in the table, just below this Sunday's opponents, Relax CF. After the last meeting between the two teams, which Rovers lost on a Sunday morning following a weekend of hard partying, go-karting and DJing, Roy Race is taking no chances: "I've sent the team away for the whole weekend to President Mestanek's cottage in The Nature(TM), so that they can concentrate on the game without any distractions, parties, drinks or unhealthy food.

"What can possibly go wrong?"

Melchester Narrowly Avoid Slip In Merdeux

 
  

Faced with a waterlogged artificial pitch, some of the WAGs dug out their wellies to wade through the artificial mud

Having thrashed Merdeux on a wet pitch earlier in the season, the omens were good on Wednesday as Melchester lined up at a rain-soaked Chalabalova brimming with confidence.  However, despite a rampant opening in which our heroes surged forward time and time again, it wasn't until midway through the first half that the reds made their mark on the scoresheet.

But oh, in what style.  Having run the ball to the opponent's box, Davies cut back for Pagliaro, who threaded a pass through for professional asskoek Vegard Nordheim to drill low and hard between the helpless keeper's legs.

Another first-half chance goes begging    

However, although Rovers came in at the break having dominated the first half, they only had the one goal to show from a plethora of chances.  And as everyone knows, in Brněnský Svaz Malé Kopané Group 2(b) Of Death, a single goal is not to be sat on.  And so it proved, as Merdeux applied the pressure in the second half to earn an equaliser, much to Melchester's surprise.

Unperturbed, Nordheim charged forward from the restart and, having waited a while for the rest of Rovers' fronline to catch up, played in a cross to Davies, who slotted home another beauty to regain the lead for the hoops.

 

The diminutive Welshman celebrates with a message for a fellow Taff

Yet Merdeux still refused to lie down.  After a flurry of subsitutions, Melchester lost their shape and allowed the blues to come at them, and despite some crucial stops from debutant Keeperman Dave "these tracksuit bottoms haven't got any pockets for my tissues" Cleary, it wasn't long before another equaliser arrived.

Having created little in the 2nd half, finding another goal to take the lead for the 3rd time seemed a tall order.  Cue that man again, Mr Asskoek, Nordheim.  Now by far Rovers' top goalscorer, Vegard sealed the match with a typically classy flick past the Merdeux keeper, and after a hard fought contest, 3 points were in the bag.

 

After an unexpectedly tough win, exhausted Rovers manage to summon enough energy for the post-match handshakes and urine tests

All that remained was for fellow forward Golban to provide some amber nectar, and Melchester could celebrate yet another win to stay on the coat-tails of The Big Four.

   

An excited Roy Race is looking forward to the weekend's fixtures: "With Kaspari dropping down, we're now level with them on points - which means if we can win Saturday's match against INEX-SDA Srbska"B" by, say, 16 goals or more, we can break into the playoff positions.  We have to believe."

Merdeux 2-3 Melchester Rovers (0-1HT)

ClearyD, MestanekM, SmithM, KimbrellC, PagliaroJ, HollandP, Nordheim(2), DaviesR(1), GolbanN

Man of the Match - Vegard Nordheim 

Rovers are Happy Easter Bunnies

There are so many potential captions for this photo, I'll let you make your own.

5th met 6th last weekend, as Melchester travelled back to Chalabalova to take on Last Minute. With (some of) the reds fresh from a punishing midweek training regime, confidence was high - seemingly justifiably so as Matt Smith opened the scoring early in the first half with a looping, bouncing wobbling shot that the keeper somehow contrived to miss completely. Quality immediately followed though, as Gio opened his scoring account with a drilled shot from outside the box, and it seemed Rovers were off to a dream start.

However, having already given up a 2 goal lead twice in the same game 2 weeks before, Melchester could not relax - especially when Last Minute fought back and began to pressurise the red's goal. And when Robin Smith's high boot smeared his opponent's nose across his face to give Last Minute a penalty, there were some worried faces on the Melchester bench. Step forward goalkeeping hero Julien Costea, who dived to his right to make a perfect save. But drama followed, as the referee declared (correctly) that Costea had left his line before the kick was taken.

Take two, and again no problems for the Romanian, not only saving but also clearing to safety, and Roy Race could breath easily once more.

With that drama over, Melchester pushed forward again, and after some elegant build up play Holland's crossfield pass found Pagliaro on the back post, who slotted home with aplomb.

A three goal lead would have suited Racey's men at half-time, but it was not to be as Last Minute responded with a goal before the break that kept the tie alive going into the second half.

With the referee allowing no physical challenges whatsoever, the 2nd period never really got going until late on. Last Minute were given hope when a long hopeful ball forward was met by Mestanek, whose headed clearance was somehow good enough to beat Costea for an historic first Melchester own goal. Despite the WAGs on the touchline convinced that own goals don't count, at 3-2 the last few moments looked decidedly iffy for Racey's men.

Until:

Matt Smith's late effort restored the 2 goal lead, and was again followed up with a 2nd from Gio, to put the tie beyond any doubt.

Three points keep Melchester Rovers in touch with The Big Four, whilst also ensuring 5th place is relatively safe:

A win against Merdeux on Wednesday would keep the pressure on Dynamo for that last playoff spot.

Last Minute 2 - 5 Melchester Rovers (1-3HT)

CosteaJ, MestanekM(o,g.), SmithM(2), Gio(2), KimbrellC, PagliaroJ(1), HollandP, SmithR, DaviesR

Man of the Match - Julien Costea

FIGHT CLUB

 

The calm before the storm

THE GOOD NEWS:  Rovers recorded their first victory of 2010 against Karlsberg, despite conceding early on after a pretty shambolic opening 10 minutes.  The goal seemed to wake the reds up, as they immediately replied with an equaliser when professional asskoek Vegard Nordheim charged down a Karlsberg clearance, sending it into the opposition net.  Nathaniel Golbaniel then made it two with a tenacious drive from the left which the keeper could only parry back to the strawberry-blonde forward, who drilled the ball home at the second time of asking, before celebrating with his signature roar.  A beautiful passing move then gave Nordheim his second and Rovers' third, and although Karlsberg pulled one back in the 2nd half and pressured the red's goal for an equaliser, Melchester held on for the three points.

 

FLASHPOINT - just one of the many 'altercations' that marred Melchester's victory

THE BAD NEWS:  Sadly the match will be remembered for all the wrong reasons, as Karlsberg demonstrated the kind of ignorant, violent and racist behaviour that has no place in sport at any level.  After spending the first half hurling racist abuse at Melchester, in the second half Kalrsberg seemed to give up on playing, opting instead to assault any player who came anywhere near their goal, culminating in a disgusting attack on Kimbrell for which the keeper didn't even see a card.  Having virtually lost control of the game, the referee threatened to abandon the match, but this had no effect on the opposition, and in the end the ref didn't stick to his word, allowing the game to continue to the ugly end.  Rovers have lodged a formal complaint with the league, and are waiting to see what, if any, action will be taken.

On the plus side, Melchester knew from the first half of the season that Karlsberg were a bunch of burani, but that most of the other teams are reasonably civilised folks, so hopefully there will be no more unpleasantness for the rest of the season.  Unless we meet Karlsberg in the play-offs.

Melchester Rovers 3 - 2 Karlsberg C.F."B" (3-1 HT)

CosteaJ, MestanekM, SmithM, Gio, KimbrellC, NordheimV(2), PagliaroJ, GolbanielN(1), HollandP

Sloppy Rovers Give It Away. Twice.

Rovers line up in front of an expectant crowd

(L-R Nordheim, Kimbrell, SmithM, Gio, Mestanek)

Way back at the start of the season, when Melchester were still little Roverinky, their first competitive opponents were KMK Dynamo Brno in a game the reds lost 1-0.  So it was only natural that the rematch could be seen as a chance to gauge just how far, if at all, Racey's men had progressed.

A bright opening from Melchester bode well, yet with so many chances having gone begging in the previous game, no-one was relaxing on the pitch or indeed the touchline.  It wasn't until set-piece specialist Matt Smith "won" (cue rueful grin) and converted a free kick on the edge of Dynamo's box that anyone even dared to believe it might be Rovers' day.  A quick follow-up from Nordheim doubled the lead, and with debutant target-man Gio running rings around the opposition defence, all seemed well in Racey's Wonderland.

How quickly things change.  Gio came off with the ankle bothers, then a rare defensive howler let Dynamo pull one back.  With the balance of play shifting, the reds were increasingly forced onto the back foot, and it wasn't long before the equaliser came. 

Kimbrell & Mestanek enraged Roy Race after paparazzi shots revealed them tucking into a mountain of ribs and glugging pivo just moments before the match

After a minimal halftime talk, a determined Melchester began the 2nd half as they had begun the first, and soon enough Robin Smith was gifted a chance silly mid-on, which he took beautifully to nudge Rovers back into the lead.  The lead was once more doubled when Matt Smith blasted a shot through the defence and past a hapless keeper, and once more things seemed rosy.

In a shocking piece of refereeing, a 5th goal was disallowed after the ball was deemed to have gone out of play in the build-up.  How that decision would come back to haunt Melchester.

The remainder of the game was a real blood-and-guts affair, with Dynamo's whiney little falling-over specialists doing their utmost to unsettle the brave and true heroes of Melchester.  Again, however, Melchester were pushed deeper and deeper, and yet again were pegged back after enjoying a two goal lead.

Professional Norwegian and forward Vegard Nordheim would later accuse the Rovers of stopping playing once they were ahead, others pointed to a lack of match fitness, while some saw fit to blame the referee for disallowing what would have been a winning goal, but the fact remains that Melchester left the field with just a point to show for some sumptuous football.  All is not lost however, as the reds retain 6th place, still in sight of those play-off positions.

KMK Dynamo Brno 4 - 4 Melchester Rovers (2-2 HT)

CosteaJ, MestanekM, SmithM(2), Gio, KimbrellC, NordheimV(1), SmithR(1), PagliaroJ, GolbanielN, HollandP

Rusty Rovers Lack Cutting Edge

He's got legs - he knows how to use them

With their new winter signings unavailable - Keeperman Dave falling prey to a mystery illness and new midfield muscler Dan M.I.A., it was an instantly recognisable line-up that took to the field on Tuesday evening against Kašpaři VM. Having lost the first tie 7 - 0, a slightly apprehensive Melchester certainly had much to prove.

Despite soaking up much of the early pressure, midway through the first period Rovers were caught on the break and Kašpaři VM were ahead. However, Rovers' response was positive and immediate - Nordheim was denied by the post, then moments later an indirect free-kick (backpass) allowed the professional Norwegian to snatch the equaliser.

Spot the ball?

Considering the previous result, at half time 1-1 was a decent score, and Rovers looked good for at least one point. However, despite again hitting the post and having the lion's share of chances in the second half - 14 shots to their 7* - sloppy Melchester defending allowed Kašpaři to score twice more to hand the reds defeat in their first competitive fixture of 2010.

A philosophical Roy Race told reporters: "We've maybe dropped points tonight, and we've definitely dropped a place in the table to 6th, but with our new secret weapon due to make his debut for Sunday's tie (taps nose enigmatically), we're optimistic about our chances of making the playoff positions."

Watch this space, vole.

*Statistics courtesy of "Rainman" Roman

Kašpaři VM 3 - 1 Melchester Rovers (1-1 HT)

CosteaJ, MestanekM, SmithM, SmithR, HollandP, DaviesR, NordheimV (1 goal), KimbrellC, GobanielN

THE ROVERS RETURN

Parallel universes.  The stuff of science fiction.  And also, of the BSMK League.  Thanks to the unique way the league is organised, there are actually TWO Second Divisions, from which the top teams are pitched into a play-off to decide who is promoted to the ONE AND ONLY First Division.  And so tonight, after an intensive winter training schedule resembling a cheesy 80's montage, Melchester once again pull on the famous Gola shirts for a pre-2nd-half-of-season friendly against one of the other teams from the other Division 2.   Organised last week when the good folks of Brno were enjoying a searing 9degrees C, now that the forecast tonight is for MINUS 8, there may be some who wonder if it's such a good idea.

Indeed, it will be a depleted line-up tonight as the cold weather continues to cause all sorts of chaos in the form of viruses, presentations, general other important things to do, but it is at least a chance to showcase new winter signing 'Keeperman Dave, who promises to add a new edge of competition for the coveted Rovers' "1" shirt.

Also new for 2010, on the left of this very writty there will magically appear some new links as the season progresses.  Already, thousands of man-hours have been spent bringing you A New Button marked "Fixtures".  Pressing this New Button will inevitably take you to the red's fixture list for the rest of the season.  More to follow.

First game proper, next Tuesday 16th at Srbska versus Kašpaři VM - trucks on pitch, terrorist attacks, alien invasions notwithstanding.

Some Rovers may take longer than others to get back to full fitness