It Ain't Over 'Til The Fat Ref Whistles





With just one remaining fixture left to play, Melchester Rovers could be facing a comic-book end to their spectacular second season. Having made hard work of a 3-2 victory over Colgate FC, yesterday lunchtime's 11-1 routine drubbing of bottom placed FCWC became hugely significant later in the day, when second placed MOP Brno sensationally capitulated to Domino to lose for only the third time this season. So what does all this mean?


This Much We Know:

Part-time Celebrity Norwegian Vegard Nodheim can add a Golden Boot to his collection of swords, hammers and horny helmets


Going into yesterday's match on 39 goals but only able to play one more game before returning to the fjords, Melchester's all-time top scorer Vegard Nordheim had a clear target - 5 goals against the league's leakiest defence. And after opening with a spectacular bicycle kick (you know, the one he tries every game - it had to go in eventually, right?) it was clear that Rovers' number 10 was on a mission. Yet with 3 minutes to go, and only on a hat-trick, it looked as if all was lost for another season.

Cue a 57th minute screamer (I can't really remember if it was or not) to draw level on 44...but for the warrior this was not enough. And so it was that in the 60th minute Nordheim grabbed his 5th, and left the field to a standing ovation.


With three players in the top 8 scorers, Roy Race's influence and inspiration is clear for all to see. Which brings us to...


This Much We Probably Know:


As things stand, Melchester are the league's top scorers, with 136 goals scored and a game to play, against third from bottom Fenix, which should provide a bumper goalfest (more on that later). The only team who have any chance of catching Rovers are top-placed Karlsberg, who on 126 would need to score at least ten - plus however many Rovers put past Fenix - in their last game against Cordoba. Unlikely, but anything can happen in Brnenskeho Svazu Male Kopane Division Three Of Death, and usually does.


This Much Could Happen:

With all eyes on the frontmen, it's easy to ignore table's other important statistic: With 50 goals conceded, Rovers defence is the joint tightest in Div 3, alongside MOP Brno. But with MOP's campaign over, nothing less than a clean sheet will do for Rovers in their last game.

What Does It All Mean?

MOP's loss to Domino means that Melchester take on Fenix on Wednesday aiming for the following:

- A win by ten clear goals to finish Div 3 Runners Up on goal difference
- And if the above happens, Karlsberg to win by less than 20 for Melchester to finish highest scorers
- A clean sheet to finish joint best defence

There is, quite literally, everything to play for.

Final game, Wednesday night, 8pm. COME ON YOU REDS (WITH YELLOW HOOPS)!!!!!